


Ride 'Em Cowboy!

by Pixial



Series: McHanzo Week 2017 [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, McHanzo Week, mechanical bull, western novelty bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixial/pseuds/Pixial
Summary: A new bar opens up, and McCree convinces Hanzo to go on a field trip.





	Ride 'Em Cowboy!

All was peaceful for a blessed moment in the common room of Watchpoint Gibraltar. The gentle murmuring of the television filled the air, mingling with distant conversation as everyone went about their business. It was something of a day off for everyone; Winston had decided to declare a holiday rather than let his agents run themselves into the ground in a move that had just about the whole team singing his praises.

Jesse certainly was. He turned his gaze from the nature documentary on the screen to the man leaning against his side. Hanzo was out for the count, poor thing. If Winston hadn’t called for mandatory time off, Jesse would’ve had to do something drastic to get his partner to rest. As it was, with nothing else to do, all it took was about twenty minutes of footage of hawks in flight and some subtle arm maneuvers on Jesse’s part to convince the great assassin to actually take a goddamned nap.

He smiled to himself as he watched Hanzo snore softly beside him, curled under his arm. It was rare that he got to see him so unguarded outside of their rooms. The simple fact that he had his feet on the couch was practically a sign of the apocalypse. He looked so small when he was asleep; and Jesse felt his heart melt just a teeny bit more as he did his best to commit the sight to memory and reached out to brush a lock of hair from his face.

“Holy _shit_! Guys!”

Jesse yanked his hand back as Hanzo startled awake, almost falling off the couch as he scrambled to get up. Jesse jumped up and had to do a quick check to make sure there wasn’t a knife in Hanzo’s hand ready to throw down. Old habits died hard. Satisfied no one was about to get stabbed, Jesse followed Hanzo’s confused glare to the door where Lúcio came striding in. He was waving a piece of paper, though he froze as he caught sight of the two startled men.

“Oh… Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to interrupt, but you have _got_ to check this out!” He bounded forward and slammed the paper down on the coffee table. Hanzo sat back down, rubbing his face and probably reminding himself that he’s not allowed to strangle teammates. Jesse sympathized. Lúcio, unaware of how close he’d come to the abyss, looked positively _giddy_. Jesse shook his head and picked up what looked to be a flyer of some sort. Apparently some kind of new bar was opening in the nearby town…?

Jesse’s eyebrows rose as he read the advertisement, a large smile slowly growing on his face as he reread it to ensure that no this wasn’t some sort of prank. He felt Hanzo lean over his shoulder and turned to show him the flyer with a grin rivalling Lúcio’s.

“No.” 

“C’mon, darlin’. We _have_ to go.”

“Jesse. I will not--”

“Babe, please?”

“We are _not_ going to a place called ‘Tandy’s Taphouse.’”

oOo

Jesse won the argument. It had taken two sweethearts, four darlin’s, and a punkin, but he’d convinced Hanzo to come with him and the others. As an added bonus he’d even managed to get Hanzo to add a bandana on top of the plain button-down he wore in town. ( _That_ had taken a whispered sugar directly into Hanzo’s ear, and Jesse was pretty damned proud of himself.)

He tore his eyes from the cutest thing in the west to inspect the troops lined up in the light of the neon cactus logo of the bar. Hana had already taken out her phone to document the entire evening, and Lúcio and Genji had both dressed for the occasion with bandanas as well, raided from Jesse’s own closet. Lena kept giggling and bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to get the night started. As for Reinhardt, he looked about as cheerful as he ever did, eager to spend time with good drinks and better friends.

“Alright, folks,” Jesse said as he put hooked his thumbs on his belt and sauntered forward with is serape fluttering in the wind like a magnificent cape, leading the charge and smirking at Hanzo’s exasperated sigh, “Let’s get this show on the road.”

He threw open the doors and the group was immediately assaulted by the Wild West. Jesse felt his heart sing for joy as he looked around. It was as though someone had managed to take the entire Southwestern United States and distill them into a single European location. Neon signs advertising beer were everywhere with cacti and cattle and boots. Down-home country sayings on wooden signs joked about the excesses of booze carried dire warnings about cowpokes who left the seat up in the bathroom. Country music blared overhead with a twanging guitar and proudly singing about horses and ex-wives with nary a hint a shame.

Jesse wiped a bit of moisture from his eyes. It was like coming home.

There was a collective gasp from his group, and they dispersed to take in the atmosphere and find a table. Jesse watched them go with a swell of pride in his heart as he moseyed up to the bar with Hanzo in tow. After ordering their drinks, Jesse leaned back and surveyed the building with a content sigh.

“Was it everything you hoped for?” Hanzo asked, scooting close enough that their hands touched. That was about all he could bring himself to do in public, but it still made Jesse grin like a loon. 

“Oh yeah. There are places like this all over back home. Didn’t realize just how much I missed it.”

Hanzo was quiet for a moment, thinking. “We’ll have to ensure this place stays in business then, won’t we?”

Jesse’s eyes widened as studied his boyfriend for a moment before nodding with a gentle smile. “Thanks, darlin’.” Hanzo shrugged and answered his smile with one of his own. It wasn’t much, but it felt as good as an “I love you.”

They were in the middle of sipping their glasses of whiskey and counting the stars in each other’s eyes when Genji and Lena bounded up, flushed and filled with mischief. 

“We found something,” Genji said without preamble, throwing his arm about his brother’s shoulders and clearly ignoring the resulting attempt to dislodge him. “You have to come see.” Jesse and Hanzo exchanged looks of curiosity, but neither Genji nor Lena seemed interested in elaborating as they dragged the duo with them to where the rest of their gang was waiting in front of a wooden rail, reminiscent of an arena.

Jesse’s eyes lit up as he realized it was an arena, and that smack dab in the middle of that arena sat a mechanical bull in all its red, white, and blue glory. “Oh _hell_ yes,” he said. “Now _that’s_ what I’m talking about!”

Lena giggled and tugged him forward. “We’re all going to try it and figured you didn’t want to miss your turn.”

“Well that was right kind of you, ma’am,” Jesse replied in an exaggerated drawl. He glanced back to see how Hanzo was taking this and was mildly surprised to see him in conversation with his brother. There was a breath of unease ghosting through him, but neither Shimada seemed angry or even irritated. That was progress, and Jesse returned his attention to the bull and the rest of the crew as everyone queued up to try the machine out.

What followed was an event that, through Hana’s determination to have a record of _everything_ for her stream, would later become infamous enough to reach several top viral video lists as well as the Overwatch end of the year video reel.

Hana herself went first, and Jesse had to admit she had a lot of pluck despite getting slung off the bull’s back within the first second and a half. Reinhardt waved off his turn, claiming he was too old to be thrown about by anything other than his dearest Ana and moving to lean against the rail next to Hanzo, who’d somehow managed to retain his drink. Lúcio fared slightly better, lasting three seconds before slamming into the safety mats lining the arena. Lena did her absolute best, but she found herself flying as the machine started up. Surprisingly, Genji lasted almost eight seconds. It figured that a super ninja assassin had some form of balance training.

Finally, it was Jesse’s turn. He secured his hat on his head and waved to Hanzo for luck, his heart fluttering as Hanzo actually waved _back_ , and stepped towards the metal beast. He squared off, taking a deep breath before launching himself on its back. The moment his butt hit the saddle, the bull was off, bucking wildly underneath him. But Jesse was an expert, and he hung on for dear life, clutching with his knees and yelling up a storm. He held on until the clock said fifteen seconds and figured that he’d showed them how it was done enough and jumped off. Applause sounded through the bar, and he swept off his hat and took a bow in the direction of Hana’s camera before making his way back to Hanzo’s side.

Who was still talking with Genji. The unease returned, but Jesse brushed it away as Genji clapped Hanzo on the shoulder with an air of encouragement. Everything was fine. Probably. He grinned wide and propped himself next to Hanzo.

“Well, partner, whadja think?” 

Hanzo took a sip of his drink, clearly thinking through his answer. There was something percolating behind those dark eyes, and Jesse felt a thrill of excitement at the scent of a challenge. “It was… alright.”

“Alright? _Alright_?” Jesse repeated, clutching a hand to his heart. “I’ll have you know I was once a _professional_ bull-rider!” Well, undercover as a professional bull-rider, but it counted. 

His boyfriend scoffed and had the audacity to smirk at him. “I suppose you’ve gotten a bit rusty, then.”

“Oho, think you can do better, then?”

Hanzo drained the remaining whiskey from his glass before slamming it down on the rail with a haughty expression that looked downright dangerous. “Watch and learn, cowboy,” he said in a growled voice that gave Jesse shivers before hopping over the railing and striding towards the bull.

Which he proceeded to sit on backwards.

Jesse gulped and tried to regain his words as he heard a suspicious snicker from Genji. Yeah, something was definitely up. “Uh, Hanzo…? That’s not--”

With a mechanical whirr, the bull started up. Jesse winced, fully expecting Hanzo to slide off the beast’s back immediately. Instead, Hanzo slid forward just a hair and then… Jumped. Up. To a standing position. And started _dancing_.

Jesse’s jaw hit the floor.

He couldn’t tell how long Hanzo danced on the back of the bucking bull, but it didn’t matter. What _mattered_ was the smug smirk on his face as he jumped and stepped back and forth on the back of the bull, even dropping briefly into a sitting position once or twice, his eyes never leaving Jesse’s face. Dimly he heard Lúcio and Hana both cheering him on and Genji laughing beside him at whatever face he was making, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hanzo.

And the the asshole ripped off his bandana and threw it at him. Jesse caught it on reflex before dying as he realized Hanzo had rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his muscled body. Suddenly the room was too hot and Jesse couldn’t breathe. Hanzo grinned straight through his soul and dismounted as lightly as any gymnast. The bar erupted into cheers and laughter as he, too, took a bow for Hana.

He swaggered over to Jesse and placed a finger under his chin, closing his mouth. “What’s the matter?” he asked, cheeks flushed and eyes dancing merrily. Jesse’s reply was little more than a gurgle.

“Come on, now, Jesse,” Hanzo said with a laugh, leaning to murmur straight into his poor frozen cowboy’s ear. Jesse was pretty sure he’d died and was heaven at this point. Or maybe he’d fallen off the bull and hit his head. But then, that wouldn’t explain the cackling from Genji next to him.

“You should know by now that I have _plenty_ of experience in riding.”

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgYNUXb4IEo
> 
> Written for McHanzo week and because Regalmisfortune told me not to.
> 
> Thanks to trashocalypse for betaing!


End file.
